What Your Burglar Won’t Tell You
Fact: Successful Burglars Plan For Success
Most Successful Burglars Graduated From Burglar College at Taxpayer Expense: Prison
- Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
- Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
- Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste… and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
- Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.
- If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.
- If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set by looking through the glass. That makes it too easy.
- A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom – and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
- It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door – understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.
- I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.) (Call you’re a licensed local contractor or handyman. You can find them all in Faulkner County by going to the online yellow pages for Faulkner County Arkansas.)
- Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet. There is always an idiot I can sell your prescriptions to and make lots of extra money.
- Here’s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids’ rooms.
- You’re right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take it with me. If I do see a secured safe, I will trade that information to one of my burglary college graduates who specialize in cracking safes. They’ll sneak in to see if you have motion detectors and if your safe is linked to your security system. If not, it’ll be gone and I’ll get a share of the proceeds. That is how the system actually works.
- A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at http://www.faketv/com/)
MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON’T TELL YOU:
- Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook. I usually dress real nice with a $20 or better haircut. I can afford the best your money can buy me.
- The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors. I can take care of your dog real easy. I just break open some sleeping pills and mix the contents into a large amount of fresh hamburger. It works every time. Sometimes I give your dog an overdose but the way I see it is what matters to me. I probably got the sleeping pills from one of your neighbors. The way I take care of nosy neighbors is so simple. I wait to see when they leave their home and enter your home on their side. If they don’t routinely leave, I create a crisis to lure them away.
- I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.
- I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it? I have even learned techniques to detect if your alarm is activated.
- I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets. I have high tech ways to look into your home as well, if I want to use them.
- Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page or any other social media formats. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.
- To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation. Better to ventilate some other way that I can’t use to gain entrance.
- If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
What can you do to protection yourself, your family and your home?
- Have a gun, and know how to use it.
- If you don’t have a gun, can’t afford a gun or just don’t want a gun get a can of Wasp Spray. Get the kind that has a 20-30 foot spraying range. It does not have the blow back that most pepper spray containers have so it is much less likely to come back on you.
- The 20-30 foot range gives you more distance from your assailant than pepper spray does and Wasp spray cans have lots more content. Wasp spray temporarily blinds your assailant until they get to a hospital for an antidote.
- Keep cans available wherever you go. Keeping cans at your office, behind your work counter, in your car, your workbench in the garage, and your laundry room.
- It is great to have if you need to go to an ATM at night.
- Get an extra can for training yourself.
- Cut a picture of a mean person out of the newspaper or off the Internet. Print several copies out and place them in locations you might anticipate being attacked. Then point and spray those images. You get the idea!
Wasp spray doesn’t attract the same attention as a can of pepper spray or firearms do. Keep a can of Wasp or Hornet Spray near your bed or door at night unless you have little children. Wasp or Hornet spray can give you plenty of time to call the police.
Another tactic is this. If your car has an alarm and pressing your alarm button on your car keys will set it off. Key them near your bed at night. If you are in a motel where you can park you car near your room, this tactic may work also. Clue in your neighbors to call the police if you set it off. Do the same for them!
If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won’t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
In the end, everyone needs a very good security system custom designed for the dwelling or office you have. Make sure that the home security system you design protects every place a burglar may choose to enter. Thing the same way when you install a business security system except that you should add in video monitoring as well.
Send this report to everyone you know and care about. It is an inexpensive and effective self-defense tactic
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